Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: WFW/Episode One
For a summary of the rules, see the series page. There will be a heading for each contestant's "run" (their time in the hotseat). A contestant's run may last more than one episode, and more than one contestant may appear in any episode. Host Arti (because Arti is just boss and it didn't feel right that I would host my own show.) Seakit's Run (the camera zooms in to Arti) Artimas : Hello, everyone! I'm Arti, I'm awesome and this is Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! This exciting new game show is about to begin! Here with us, we have our first ever contestant, SEAKIT! Hello, Seakit! Seakit: Hi Artimas!~ Artimas : Seakit. what would you do if you won the million dollars? Seakit: Um... I- I don't know! Is... is that a question that I have to answer or I lose $468,000!? Artimas: What? No. The game hasn't even started yet. Seakit: Well, can we start it already? I'm getting nervous. D: Artmias: Okay, let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! (the lights dim) Artimas: Now, Seakit, all you have to do is answer 15 questions correctly and the million dollars is yours. Seakit: Okay! Artimas: If at any point you get stuck on a question, you have the option to use three lifelines. 50-50 will remove 2 wrong answers, Phone A Friend will allow you to call a friend of your choice from the 5 you gave us when you signed up for the show and Ask the Audience will let the audience help you with an answer. Got it? Seakit: Got it! Artimas: Okay, Seakit, this is your $100 question: Seakit: The answer is C. 12! Final answer! Artimas: C is locked in... And C is correct for $100! Seakit: Yaaaaaaaay! Artimas: Okay, Seakit, here's your $200 question Seakit: NightClan is the best Clan ever! YAY! Artimas: I need an answer, Seakit. Seakit: A. Nightclan. Final Answer! We're too cool for books. Artimas: A is locked in. Artimas: A is the correct answer for $200! Seakit, would you like to see your $300 question? Seakit: Of course!~ Artimas: Okay, here it is: Your $300 question: Seakit: Eeeeeh, if Lavender didn't force me to watch musicals with her, I wouldn't know this, but she does, and the answer is D. Grease. Final answer. Artimas: D is locked in. Artimas: D. is correct for $300! Seakit: Woohoo! Artimas: Make sure to join us after the break when Seakit goes for- (Artimas's chair breaks and she falls on the floor) AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Seakit: Are you okay? Artimas: STUPID (bleep)ING CHAIR! Seakit: NUUUUUUUUUUU! SWEARS! D: Artimas: As I was saying, make sure to join us after the break where Seakit will go for $500 and I will hopefully get a new chair that won't ''break! Don't go anywhere! (after the break) Producer: Where do you want the chair? Artmas: Over there. (points) (the producer puts the chair) Artimas: Thank you kindly. And this better not break! Producer: It won't. (Artimas sits down) (the chair breaks) Artimas: (bleeeeeeeeeeep)! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME! Producer: Do you want another chair? Artimas: No. I'll sit on the ground. (sits down) The ground hurts. Get me a chair. Seakit: Um, Artimas? My $500 question please? 'Cause, y'know, I can't sit here all day. My bedtime is at 8:00PM, which is quite late for a kit, but... Artimas: (groans) Why did I sign up to be the host of this show? Anyway, here's your $500 question, Seakit: Seakit: Isn't Monet a sauce? Artimas: That's ''Mornay. Seakit: Oh... Well, that's really embarrasing, isn't it?~ Oh well. Artimas: I need an answer. Seakit. Seakit: But... I don't know! Artimas: Then use a lifeline. Seakit: Um... I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HISTORY! AAAAAAAAAAH! How is this even a $500 question? It's too hard! D: Artimas: Use. A. Lifeline. Seakit: Um... I'll ask the audience!~ Artimas: Alrighty, then! Audience, please get out your keypads and vote for either A, B, C or D. Go! (the audience vote) Artimas: This is what the audience had to say: A- 87% B- 0% C- 12% D- 1% Seakit: Those are high odds! I'll lock in A. Da Vinci! Final answer! Artimas: Da Vinci is correct for $500! Seakit: YAY! Thanks, Audience! LIFELINES: 50-50, Phone A Friend, Ask The Audience Artimas: Okay, Seakit, it's time for your $1,000 question. If you get this right, you're guaranteed at least $1000. Are you ready? Seakit: I'm ready! Artimas: Okay, for a guaranteed $1000, here is your question: Seakit: Oh, wow. Jet's going to kill ''me if I get this wrong! Jetfeather: Psssst! Seakit! Seakit: (glances) Jet: (holds up machete) Seakit: EEEEEEEEEP! ''B. SUDAN! FINAL ANSWER! Artimas: Seakit, for a guaranteed $1000, you chose B. Sudan. That answer is... Artimas: CORRECT! You've just won $1000! Seakit: YEEEEEEEEEES!~ I CAN BUY ANIME MERCHANDISE! Artimas: (facepaw) Seriously? Seakit: ANIME! WHEEEEEE! Artimas: (turns back to camera) Seakit's just won $1,000, and will be playing for $2,000 after the break. Don't go anywhere! And hopefully by then, I will have my chair ''that I asked for at the ''start of the $500 question! (after the break) Artimas: I'm back and I've got a chair! WHEEEEEEEEEE! Seakit: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Artimas: DON'T RUIN MY MOMENT! Seakit: Okay!~ Artimas: Wh-wha'? Anyway, let's play for $2,000. You might as well play this question because you can't lose any money. Seakit: Okay! Artimas: Okay, here it is: Seakit: Hmm... Well, I know there were 7 books, so it's not A, and it's not D. That narrows it down to B or C. Artimas: (slow clap) Genius! Seakit: Weeeeell, I'm pretty sure that one of the movies had two parts to it. Never seen Harry Potter, so I wouldn't know. But I think I can remember an ad for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, which means there had to have been a part 1. So... lock in C.8. Artimas: Final answer? Seakit: Final answer! Artimas: C is correct for $2,000! Seakit: Yaaaaaaaay!~ DOUBLE THE ANIME MERCH! Artimas: Seakit, let's play for $4,000. Remember, you still have two lifelines left. If you answer this question incorrectly, you'll lose $1,000. Get this right, and you'll unlock your Double Dip lifeline. Ready to play? Seakit: Ready! Artimas: Okay, for $4,000, here's your question: Seakit: Awwww nooooooooooo! I don't know Lily Allen! Artimas: You still have two lifelines. What are you think? Seakit: I'm thinking it might be C. Only because I think Air Balloon is a song by Owl City. Artimas: Want to lock that in? Seakit: No. I want to use a lifeline. Artimas: Which one? Seakit: 50-50 won't help me at all. I'll use Phone A Friend. Artimas: Okay, you're using Phone A Friend. Who would you like to call out of your 5 pre-selected friends? You can call MISTKIT, THISTLEKIT, IZAYA, LAVENDER or ICEPAW. (back home) Thistlekit: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS ANSWER!? CALL ME! ''! I'LL HELP YOU! (back at the studio) Seakit: Eeeeeeh, I'll call... MISTKIT! (at home) Thistlekit: NO, SEAKIT, CALL ''ME! I'M OBSESSED WITH LILY ALLEN! (at studio) Artimas: Okay, so you're calling Mistkit! Just wait a second while we get her on the line. (the phone rings) Mistkit: Hello? Artimas: Hi, Mistkit! It's Arti here, host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: WFW! Mistkit: Hi. Artimas: I have your friend Seakit in the Hot Seat. He's going for $4,000 and needs your help. Mistkit: He needs my help on the $4,000 question? He's even more of an idiot than I thought! Seakit: HEY! Artimas: I'm going to put Seakit on the line now. Here he is. Seakit, you have 30 seconds. Seakit: Hi Mistkit! Mistkit: Well, idiot brains, what can I do for you? Seakit: I- I'm not an idiot! D: Artimas: 25 seconds. Seakit: Mistkit, which of these is not a song by Lily Allen? A. Hard Out Here, B. True Love, C. Air Ballon, D. Alfie. Mistkit: Why didn't you call Thistlekit? He's obsessed with Lily Allen. Seakit: Crap! Do you know the answer? Mistkit: Actually, I don't think so. Seakit: Crap! Mistkit: I know Hard Out Here is her song. Um... I think it's C. I'm 60% sure it's C. I don't think Air Balloon was by Lily Allen. Seakit: Okay! Thanks! Mistkit: What are you thanking me for? You don't know if it's the right answer yet. (the line disconnects) Artimas: What are you thinking now, Seakit? Seakit: Well, I thought it was C, and so did Mistkit. I'm going to lock in C. Air Balloon... (at home) Thistlekit: NO, SEAKIT! DON'T LOCK IN AIR BALLOON! THAT'S THE WRONG ANSWER! (at studio) Artimas: Just to confirm, you are locking in C. Air Balloon. Final answer? Seakit: Final answer! (at home) Thistlekit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (at studio) Artimas: Seakit, you locked in C. you thought it was right, but weren't sure. Then you called Mistkit who said she thought it was right, but wasn't sure. Oh, dear. Seakit, I'm so sorry, you've just lost $1,000! It was B. Ture Love! Seakit: Awwwwwww! Oh well!~ At least I still have $1,000! TOTAL WINNINGS: $1,000 Artimas: I'm so sorry, Seakit! Seakit: It's okay!~ Artimas: Thanks for being such a great contestant. You were so much fun. Seakit: Thanks for having me! I had fun! (Seakit leaves the studio) Artimas: Well, come back after the break when we'll have a new contestant in the hot seat! (back at home) Thistlekit: (strokes Lily Allen toy) It's okay, my precious! Seakit didn't mean any harm! Chicken Breath's Run Artimas: Hello and welcome back to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: WFW! After Seakit left with a disappointing $1,000, we're hoping that our next contestant will have some luck! Say hello to... (glares at paper) Chicken Breath. Am I saying that right? Chicken Breath: Yes ma'am. Artimas: Really? Or is it something fancy like Shikayn Brayth? 'Cause Chicken Breath sounds really stupid. Chicken Breath: No, it's pronounced Chicken Breath. Artimas: (blushes) Oops. Let's play Millionaire! Chicken Breath: Righty-o then. Artimas: Now, do you know the rules? Chicken Breath: Yes I do, but you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you? Artimas: Of course I am. Chicken Breath, if you can answer 15 questions correctly, you'll win $1,000,000. If you get stuck on a question, you can use one of three lifelines: 50-50, Phone A Friend or Ask The Audience. If you get your $4,000 question correct, you unlock a Double Dip lifeline. Your milestones are $1,000 and $32,000. If you get a question wrong, you drop back to your last milestone. Got it? Chicken Breath: I never lost it. Artimas: Okay, let's play! (crowd cheers) Artimas: I didn't know we had a crowd. Here's your first question for $100: Chicken Breath: D. 4. Final answer. Artimas: D. is correct for $100! Let's play for $200! Chicken Breath: Okay! Chicken Breath: That would be C. Vancouver. Artimas: Final answer? Chicken Breath: Final answer. Artimas: That's correct, Chicken Breath! Ready to play for $300? Chicken Breath: No, of course not. I'm actually going to walk away with $200, because that's such an amazing amount of money. Artrimas: Really? Chicken Breath: No! I was being sarcastic! Artimas: Right. For $300: Chicken Breath: I love this show. A. The Simpsons. Final answer. Artimas: That was incredibly quick. You've won $300. Chicken Breath: Yay. So happy. Artimas: There's no need to be a douche about it. Here's your $500 question. Chicken Breath: Oh dear. Artimas: Problem? Chicken: Nope. I'm saying "oh dear" because these questions are ridiculously easy. Artimas: Is that- Chicken Breath: B. Phoenix. Final answer. Artimas: Oh dear. Oh dear. You appear to be correct. Why are these questions so easy? Chicken Breath: Beats me. Artimas: Ready to play for $1,000? Chicken Breath: Sure. Artimas: Okay, let's play. If you get this question right, you're guaranteed $1,000. Here it is: Chicken: And hooray, we have a slightly challenging question. Artimas: YES! Produce: Arti! Artimas: Sorry. Chicken Breath: I'm not 100% on this answer. I know it's not Turkey, but the others I have no clue about. Artimas: Do you want to use a lifeline? Chicken Breath: NO! NO LIFELINES! Artimas: Someone's crabby. Chicken Breath: Let me think about this. It's definitely not Turkey. Artimas: You said that. Chicken Breath: I don't think it's Israel either. Artimas: Lifeline? Please use a lifeline. Chicken Breath: NO! Artimas: But I love ''it when someone uses a lifeline! D: Chicken Breath: It's either Lebanon or Egypt. My gut says Egypt. Artimas: Are you sure it's not your stomach saying you're hungry? Chicken: You know what I'm going to do? Artimas: Use a lifeline? Chicken: NO! I'm going to lock in C.. Egypt. Final answer. Artimas: Well, sir, I'm proud to announce that you've won $1,000! Chicken Breath: WINNING! BRING ON THE REST OF THE QUESTIONS! Artimas: Are you ready to play for $2,000? Chicken Breath: Obviously. Artimas: You may as well play this because you have nothing to lose. That and you have 3 lifelines left. Chicken Breath: Let's play! Artimas: Here it is, for $2,000: Chicken Breath: Well I know for a fact it's either June or July. But which one it is I'm not entirely sure. Which sucks, because I'm British, so I should know this. Artimas: Or ''is ''it? Chicken Breath: Of course it is! Artimas: Or ''is ''it? Chcken Breath: YES! Artimas: I need an answer. Chicken Breath: Well, I'm 75% sure it's June. Artimas: Do you want to lock that in? Chicken Breath: I don't know... Artimas: Do you want to use a lifeline? Please say yes! Chicken: NO! Artimas: Awww... Chicken Breath: B. June. Final answer. Artimas: No surprises here, it's correct. Chicken Breath: Winning! Artimas: Okay, here's your $4,000 question. You still have all three lifelines. Get this question right and you'll earn the Double Dip lifeline. Ready? Chicken Breath: Of course. Chicken Breath: Oh wow. I... wow, these questions are getting a bit difficult, aren't they? Artimas: Lifeline? Chicken Breath: For (bleep)'s sake. SHUT UP! Artimas: But ''lifeline! D: Chicken Breath: Shut up. I wanna work it out on my own! Artimas: Okay... Chicken Breath: Well, I know it's not Kieth Urban & Nicole Kidman, because they have one kid and it's called Sunday, I think. Artimas: Right... Chicken Breath: Angelina & Brad have, like, 200 kids, so it might be them. But I'm really not sure. Artimas: That's why we have lifelines. Chicken Breath: NO LIFELINE! Artimas: Okay. Suit yourself. Chicken Breath: I usually do. I don't think it's David and Victoria Beckham either. So that leaves either Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes or Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Artimas: Or a lifeline. Chicken Breath: You know what? Screw you and your stupid lifelines. Complete guess, but A. Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise. Final answer. Artimas: I... I don't believe this. That's actually correct. You've won $4,000. Chicken Breath: WINNING! Artimas: I swear on StarClan you're cheating. I... wow. No. Chicken Breath: I'm not cheating! Artimas: The good news is, you've unlocked your Double Dip lifeline. With this lifeline, you have two guesses at a question, but when you use it, you can't walk away or use any other lifelines, and you can't use this lifeline on the same question as another one. Got it? Chicken Breath: Yep. Chicken Breath: I'm sorry, I was under the impression that $8,000 questions were meant to be hard. Artimas: Oh? What's the answer then, smarty? Chicken Breath: C. Spanish. Final answer. Artimas: I'm beginning to get very sick of you very quickly. You've just won $8,000. We really need to get some harder questions on this show. Chicken Breath: You do, but not during my run. Artimas: Yes during your run. Let's play for $16,000. You've still got all 3 lifelines. Ready? Chicken Breath: I was born ready. Artimas: Okay, here it is: Chicken Breath: Crap. Artimas: Oh? Chicken Breath: I haven't got a clue. Artimas: What if you had to take a guess? Chicken Breath: I wouldn't even guess. Artimas: Well, what are you going to do? Chicken Breath: Well... Artimas: (whispers) Lifeline... lifeline... lifeline... Chicken Breath: I think I'll use a lifeline Artimas: YES! Producer: ARTI! Artimas: Er... I mean, what lifeline would you like to use? Chicken Breath: I think I'll ask the audience. Artimas: Okay. Audience, please vote on which answer you think is the correct one. (the audience votes) A- 26% B- 20% C- 22% D- 28% Chicken Breath: Well that helps very much. Thankyou! Artimas: What do you want to do? Chicken Breath: I'd like to lock in D. Dance of Death. Artimas: Final answer? Chicken Breath: Final answer. Lifelines: 50-50, Phone A Friend, Ask The Audience, Double Dip Artimas: That's correct for $16,000. Chicken Breath: WINNING! Artimas: Shut up. I can't wait for when you get a wrong answer! Chicken Breath: Okay then... Artimas: Okay, let's play for $32,000. Remember, if you get the question right, you can't leave with anything less than that. Chicken Breath: Got it. Artimas: Okay, here's the $32,000 question: Chicken Breath: Oh, come on! Artimas: (giggles) Chicken Breath: Why are all the questions getting hard now? D: Artimas: Hard? How so? Chicken Breath: I've never even heard of Home and Away! Artimas: It's an Australian drama. No one's heard of it. Chicken Breath: True. And who the heck is Bonnie Sveen? Artimas: Beats me. (shrugs) Chicken Breath: Well... I think I might need to use another lifeline. Artimas: OKAY! XDDDD Which one? Chicken Breath: I hate these bloody things. Since I haven't got a clue, and most of my friends aren't Australian, I'll have to use a 50-50. Artimas: Okay. Computer, take away two wrong answers, which will leave us with one remaining wrong answer and the correct answer. Chicken Breath: Ugh... Well that doesn't really help me. I was pretty certain it wasn't Roo. If Roo was left, I'd be going for the other one. Ugh, this is hard. Artimas: You can always use another lifeline. Chicken Breath: NO! I WILL NEVER USE TWO LIFELINES ON ONE QUESTION! Artimas: FIne. It's your $15,000 to lose if you get this wrong though. Chicken Breath: It's also my $32,000 to win if I get this right. Artimas: Are you going to lock in an answer or sit here talking? Chicken Breath: Fine. I'll lock in A. Ricky. Artimas: Are you sure? Because you'll lose $15,000 if you get it wrong. Chicken Breath: I KNOW THAT! GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN A WASHING MACHINE! Artimas: Okay. (heads towards stage exit) Producer: ARTI! Artimas: (sighs and heads back to chair) Is Ricky your final answer? Chicken Breath: Final answer. Artimas: Chicken Breath, you had $16,000. I told you that if you got this wrong, you'd lose $15,000. Chicken Breath: And? Artimas: And how badly I wanted that to happen. But, unfortunately for me, it's not going to happen. That's the right answer. You're guaranteed $32,000! Chicken: YES! WINNING! Artimas: I did so very much want you to lose. But alas, you did not. Lifelines: 50-50 Phone A Friend, Ask The Audience, Double Dip Artimas: So, Chicken Breath, your next question is for $64,000! You might as well play this question because you've got nothing to lose. Ready? Chicken Breath: Ready. Artimas: Here it is: Chicken Breath: Oh, well this is slightly easier. Artimas: (bleep) Producer: Hey! Hosts aren't allowed to sear! Artimas: SHUT THE (bleep) UP! Producer: (cries) Artimas: Anyway, keep going, Chicken Dork. Chicken Breath: That's Chicken Breath. I don't know the answer for sure, but I know it's not 1922. I know it's not 1928, so that leaves only 1926 and 1925. Artimas: You could use your Double Dip lifeline, Chicken Breath: And why would I want to do that? Artimas: Uh... so you can definitely ''get it right? Chicken Breath: No! Screw that! I can't lose any money anyway, can I? Artimas: No, sir, no you cannot. Chicken Breath: Er... Then I shall lock in B, 1925. Final answer. Artimas: I'm beginning to get more and more tired of you as the game goes on. That's the right answer. Chicken Breath: WINNING! Artimas: Let's play for $125,000. You still have two lifelines left. Chicken Breath: I do believe it is a temple. Of this I am sure. Artimas: Is it your final answer? Chicken Breath: Final answer. Artimas: (bursts out laughing) Chicken Breath: What's so funny? Artimas: I've been ''waiting ''for this! THAT'S THE WRONG ANSWER! YOU'RE ONLY LEAVING WITH $32,000! SUCKED IN! Chicken Breath: ''WHAT!? TOTAL WINNINGS: $32.000 Artimas: This is actually so funny! (starts laughing again) You were so sure! Chicken Breath: LIARS! Artimas: Out. Stay out. Never come back. Chicken Breath: SHINTO IS A TEMPLE. YOU COMPLETE LIARS! (Chicken Breath leaves the studio) Artimas: The funny thing is, it's actually not. Look it up youyrselves. Quick question here, am I the only one who's glad he didn't win? (crowd cheers) Artimas: Thought not. That's all we have time for tonight. Tune in next time where we'll see a new contestant try to reach the million! Remember, I'm Arti, I'm awesome and this has been Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Good night! STARRING: Artimas Hunter as host Jetfeather as Seakit WildViper009 as Chicken Breath Category:Spoof Category:Tanglefrost101's Fanfics